NFL CRIBS

A monologue fan emailed me recently suggesting that I check out ATT Home Turf webisodes. These online video clips are basically MTV cribs for NFL football stars. They show where and how they live, all the cool things their house has, and they even check their answering machine to see what kind of greeting they leave for their incoming callers. I found it very entertaining so if you are interested in checking it out, here is the link to Ladanian Tomlinson's webisode. If you enjoy it there are more to come so check back.

http://seehowtheylive.com/lTomlinson.php

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN NFL PLAYERS RETIRE

What happens when a career ends, and the bright lights, the fame, and the fortune are no longer there? What then? For many players, making the transition to life after football is a difficult one.

Consider this:

• 65% of NFL players leave the game with permanent injuries. This is particularly disturbing when you consider that the average NFL career is only four years.
• 25% experience financial difficulties in their first year of retirement.
• 78% are unemployed, bankrupt, or divorced within two years of playing their last game.
• The suicide rate for NFL players, whether active or retired, is six times higher than the national average.

60 SECOND STUDY SESSION

Impress the best this sunday with your 2006 NFL knowledge:

• Kurt Warner, QB for the Arizona Cardinals, is 6-0 against Atlanta in his career, but he has not played them since 2002 and he has had 9 turnovers in the past two weeks
• Houston's QB David Carr is leading the NFL with a passer rating of 113.6
• San Fran 49ers have lost 7 straight on the road against AFC teams.
• The NE Patriots have not lost back to back games since December 2002
• Cleveland and Raiders QB have 6 career touchdown passes combined... should be an interesting game

UPSET OF THE WEEK

My 0-2 Grey's Anatomy watching Sports Guru has chosen Detroit over the St. Louis Rams as his upset of the week. I dont really know what he is thinking with this one considering Tory Holt and Isaac Bruce finally broke out last week with 11 combined catches for 199 yards. I think he needs to get his head checked out by Mc Dreamy asap!

WHAT IS THE MADDEN CURSE ALL ABOUT?

Now that Shaun Alexander broke his foot, everyone has been talking about this Madden Curse. So this is for all the ladies who have been hearin about it but have just been afraid to ask what it actually is.

John Madden Football has consistently been one of the top selling video games in North America every year. So the curse is where the player (and his team) that grace the front cover of John Madden Football end up having a sub par season the following year. Here are some stats:

2007- Shaun Alexander breaks his foot
2006-Donovan McNabb sufferred a hernia and was out for the season after game 9
2005-Ray Lewis is said to have avoided the curse but his numbers were way down and he did not record an interception all season, first time in his career
2004- Michael Vick missed the first 11 games with a broken leg
2003-Marshal Faulk this was his worst season since 1996
2002-Daunte Culpepper missed 4 games and Minnesota has its worst record since 1984

Well... you get the point.

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

Advance to Boardwalk and hit up Free Parking along the way

Indianapolis over Jets

Dallas over Tennessee

Philadelphia over Green Bay

Take a ride on the Reading

Houston over Miami

Buffalo over Minnesota

Carolina over New Orleans

San Diego over Baltimore

St Louis over Detroit

Jacksonville over Washington

Cincinnati over New England

Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200

Arizona over Atlanta

San Francisco over Kansas City

Cleveland over Oakland

Seattle over Chicago

Football 101

Understanding the downs is probably the biggest key to understanding football. You must learn these basics before you can really enjoy the game.

• Basically, a down is 1 play. From the time the ball is snapped (put into play), to the time the play is whistled over by the officials, is considered one down.
• A team's offense is given four downs (or 4 plays) to try and move ten yards toward the opponent's end zone.
• If they make the ten yards needed within four downs, they are given a new set of downs. This is called getting a first down.
• If they don't make the required ten yards, the other team's offense takes possession of the ball.

The first play of a series is called first-and-ten because it is the first down and 10 yards are needed to receive a new set of four downs.
• Suppose on the first play, the team on offense picks up three yards. The next play would then be second-and-seven, because it is the second play of the set and they still need seven yards to get a first down.

TO, TO, TO

This morning: I am not going to joke about how bad it must be to be a Dallas Cowboy because that would just be in poor taste. So if you want to read more about TO's suicide attempt check out... bloggingtheboys.com

This afternoon: To clear things up this is an excerpt from his press conference:

I want to dispell the rumors... TO was not coherent to speak... The reason I called 911 was bc he was not his normal self... I did not say TO was depressed and TO did not say he was depressed... I used my judgment to call 911... I'm upset they took advantage of TO (police? Media?)... He had an allergic reaction... He was in a lot of pain... It's been a really long night I don't remember so much... TO has 25 million reasons not to committ suicide

Corny- Yet Slightly Entertaining

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his Quarter back.

Q: Why are football stadiums always cool?
A: Because they're full of fans.

Q: Why is the Oakland Raiders football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA OF THE WEEK

My husband is going to kill me when he finds out that I am exploiting his fantasy football secret weapon the day before waivers go through but this is an important fantasy tip if you are in need of a running back. As we all heard, Shaun Alexander, MVP and "Madden '07" coverboy, will be out for a few weeks with a broken foot. His back up, Maurice Morris, has been off the radar so far this season and should now be on the top of everyone's "must add" list. Because Alexander, however, is such a great player, you cannot drop him. Therefore, this is only a good move if you have someone on your bench that is worth dropping.

News Report Just In: "Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren said Wednesday the team plans to take more X-rays of Alexander's left foot. Holmgren said Alexander wouldn't practice Wednesday, but is feeling better and hopes to play Sunday night (against the Bears)"

- I dont know about this, football players are superhuman but a broken foot healing in one day? I would pick up Morris just in case because even if Shaun does play Im sure it wont be for too long.

NOT YET

We saw this guy shine at the University of Southern California. He used to be an US Magazine regular as Paris Hilton's sidekick, and we all held our breath during the 2006 NFL draft when he surprisingly wasn't drafted until pick number ten. Will we see him make his first NFL start this Sunday?? I dont think so. Coach Green of the Arizona Cardinals is going to give QB Kurt Warner one more shot at success before bringing in Rookie Matt Leinart. If you have him on your fantasy bench... keep him there for at least one more week. If you were just excited to see him play... no worries, he is coming soon to a theater near you!

OH WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN

A friend of mine emailed me this morning and here is what he had to say... any thoughts? Keep in mind Harry Connick Jr. wasn't at the game just to look pretty.

OK... I am a cynic, I admit it up front...But the NFL is fixed... at least partially.There was a 0% chance for Atlanta to win this Monday Night game.The publicity is too good for the Saints to lose their home opener, too much of a feel good story. This also begs the question... was there another reason the Texans didn't draft Reggie Bush? Maybe financial incentives to make sure he went to New Orleans?I'm no conspiracy theorist or anything, nor want to pursue such lines of logic without actual proof, but they could at least try to hide it. BAH!

--MR. D. B.

INJURY REPORT

Did you pick Shaun Alexander first round and bet your car, house, and 3 kids that you were gonna win this season?? If so, you may want to ask for your car and house back!!! The Seattle Seahawks will be without their MVP for at least a few weeks after Alexander finished the big win against the Giants with a broken left foot. This is a huge disappointment for many fantasy owners but make sure to leave him on your bench cause HE WILL BE BACK!!!

Chris Simms, QB for Tampa Bay Bucs, had his spleen removed yesterday. Rookie, Bruce Gradowski, will be taking his place with Tim Rattay as back up. For the 0-3 Buccaneers, this could be a blessing in disguise.

Summin' up Some of Sunday

Eagles (2-1) get their pride back in San Fran after Westbrook had 3 TD's including one that came directly after the fancy flee-flicker to Reggie Brown on the opening drive

Giants (1-2) got romped against Seattle with Eli throwing 3 interceptions

Washington (1-2) shut up my sports guru and got their first win against Houston.

Carolina got their first win yesterday against the winless Tampa Bay Bucs

Brett Favre joined elite company with the 400th touchdown pass of his career against the winless Detroit Lions for the Packers first win of the season

Baltimore won yesterday gettin' their first 3-0 start since the franchise moved to Baltimore

The undefeated Cincinnati Bengals sent Pittsburgh fans home crying and officially sent Big Ben to most fantasy team benches.

COMMISSIONER'S CORNER

Every Fantasy Football team owner has those 1 or 2 games a season that are "must win" games because you need to have those bragging rights. In my "all guys except me" league my "must win" games are the one against my older brother and the one against my husband (both of which i lost last season). In my all girls league where I am the commissioner, my "must win" game came yesterday against my best friend/Maid of honor. I called her up yesterday morning yelling at her to change her team as soon as possible because she still had 2 people in that were not playing this week. She struggles out of bed and makes the necessary changes in time for the 1 O' clock games, just as i suggested. She then proceeds to beat me, giving my team their first loss of the season.

"It's like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife."

60 SECOND STUDY SESSION

Read up on these few tidbits and you will be talking like a pro in no time!

• The Chicago Bears have not started 3-0 since 1990
• Green Bay Packers QB Brett Favre has 399 career TD passes entering Sunday's game
• The Jets have not won in Buffalo since the 2002 season opener
• The Tennessee Titans are averaging just over 23 mins of possession per game (Ha!)
• Jacksonville is 10-1 since week 9 of last season, tops in the NFL.
• The New Orleans Saints had only 3 wins last season and could match that total with a win on Monday night in the first game back at the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina
• Arizona committed 22 penalties in 2 weeks and fumbled 5 snaps last week in Seattle.
• New England's QB Tom Brady is 1-4 career against the Broncos and 69-17 against everyone else.
• The Eagles Lead the league with 13 sacks, nearly half of last season's total.

UPSET OF THE WEEK

My brother-in-law emailed me again this morning to report his choice for Upset of the Week. Please keep in mind that he and I are in disagreement with this one and even though he is a sports guru... he was wrong last week. Oh and, yes, he is still single.

He thinks Houston is gonna romp on what he considers the most overrated team in the NFL- Washington Redskins. Both teams are 0-2 and the game will be played in Texas. I personally feel that Washington is feelin the pressure of what an 0-3 start will mean for them in a division stacked with Dallas, the Eagles, and the Giants. To me this means they will play harder and with more determination. As my brother-in-law suggests... motivation is not enough, you actually need skill.

Any opinions on this?

FOOTBALL 101 - Important Penalties

Offsides: This is a good term to know because there are constantly offsides penalties. This is simply when someone jumps the gun before the QB says hike. (Offsides gives the other team 5 free yards)

Pass Interference: Play the ball and not the man. If you and a receiver are both jumping for the ball and you hit him en route, that is ok. But you cannot jump at the receiver without ever looking for or attempting to get the ball. This is a huge penalty because if the QB throws the ball all the way down the field and the receiver misses it because he was interfered with, the play counts as if he caught it. Which means the offense gets to move all the way up to where he so-called caught the ball and they get a first down. So when Terrel Owens misses a big catch and freaks out at the referees looking for penalty call, that's because they want it to count as if they caught it and they want all those yards (esp if it was a big throw all the way down the field).

Class Dismissed!

Online Football Gambling

I found this ad for online football betting and thought it was funny... would you be convinced??

"For those football betting couples, football betting online is a pastime they can share together. By the romantic glow of a computer screen, they can check out general football betting information together. Though some couples just wouldn’t understand the passion for football betting, this is for those football betting couples who do find a kinship in being able to submit football betting online through a website like www.hollywoodsportsbook.com without having to sneak a bet without the other noticing.

Of course, that kind of football betting date behavior is unfathomable to guys and girls who don’t think of football betting as a dating activity; however, for those football-betting lovers who also love to bet on football with their mates, it’s the perfect mix of romance, gentle teasing (“You bet on football and chose that team?!?”), and fun."

** I do not promote online gambling, but if you happen to win using my suggestions I do accept TIPS.

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

I would bet my job on these:

Eagles over San Fran

Baltimore over Cleveland

I would only bet my husband's job on these:

Jets over Buffalo

Seattle over Giants

Indi over Jacksonville

Washington over Houston

St Louis over Arizona

Miami over Tennesee

Chicago over Minnesota

Atlanta over New Orleans

I would leave my wallet at home:

Cincinnati over Pittsburgh

Bucs over Carolina

New England over Denver

Green Bay over Detroit

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

So i figured out why women are getting more and more into football these days (besides the fact that it is a great sport). ESPN's Monday Night Football game this past week was watched by more viewers than any show in cable TV history except the 1993 Al Gore/ Ross Perot debate. Pittsburgh's shut out was seen by a record breaking 9.81 million homes.

Either women are finally starting to enjoy the sport or they are losing the ever so famous husband/wife remote control battle. Where is everyone during the president's state of the union address or during Grey's Anatomy season finale... the things that really matter???!!?!?

Who knows, but for some reason MNF takes the cake.

CHEEROCRACY

Who ever said that “cheerleaders are not athletes” will totally have a change of heart once they view the first ever NFL Cheerleader Playoffs airing this September! This first ever challenge was held at Six Flags New England, Mass. Cheerleaders from 25 squads from the AFC and NFC came dressed to impressed and competed in physical challenges such as roller skating, kayaking, swimming, 100 yard dash, bungee flip, obstacle course, and other athletic events. They were also tested on their knowledge of football with various trivia challenges and exotic dance competitions.

Brrrrrr, is it cold in here? There must be some Torro's in the atmosphere.

CSI: NFL DIVISION

Ohio State Running back Maurice Clarett just cannot stay out of the court room. This is the guy who sued the NFL challenging the rule that a player must be out of high school three years to be eligible for the NFL draft. The Court of Appeals ruled against Clarett, which meant that he had to wait for the 2005 draft to enter the NFL. After being chosen in the third round by the Denver Broncos and sitting out most of last season due to a groin injury he now agrees to plead guilty to aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon. The deal will send him to prison for at least 3½ years and end two criminal cases against him. But dont count him out just yet, Im sure we will be seeing him perform along side Adam Sandler in The Longest Yard- part duex.

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA OF THE WEEK

QB Rex Grossman has been looking pretty hot these past two weeks. I dont think you can start him just yet (unless of course you have Big Ben as your starting QB) but he is a solid back up with great possibilities. Grossman threw for a career high 4 touchdowns- 289 passing yards this weekend against the Lions. The problem here is that the Bears have only played GB and Detroit so far this season so we cannot automatically conclude that Rex will Flex all season long. However what we can be sure of is that the Bears D will dominate this season keeping Rex on the field more often than not. The more chances he gets, the more plays he will make. Only 11.2 percent of fantasy team owners have Rex on their squad so I think he is a stellar free agency pick up.

YOU'RE FIRED!

Whoever was in charge of the Monday Night Football schedule should've been fired last night after Pittsburgh and Jacksonville played the most boring game ever. Big Ben barely showed up and when he did actually throw the ball, his receivers looked exactly how I would look if I was playing frisbee in the dark. Granted I would probably get hit directly in the face leaving a huge red mark for everyone to see but you get my point. No big receptions, no touchdowns, and two key interceptions by Jaguars D giving them a 2-0 record to start off the season. If either of these offenses play this fabulous next week they will have no chance against Indianapolis and Cincinnati.

BEST PART OF MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

THE 4 Time Emmy Award Winning THEME SONG!

This song was added to the show in 1989. It is a re-write of Williams' 1984 song "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight." This is the first incarnation of the lyrics by Hank Williams, Jr., though the song has changed a bit over the years with the addition of new hosts, etc. Now you can sing along!!

Well it's Monday night and we're ready to rock!

Time to get all the hits, the bangs and the blocks.It's the game of the week that's comin' your way.

The Steelers and the Jaguars are ready to play.

We gotta get ready, we gotta get right

Cause Monday Night Football kicks off tonight!

So get ready. I mean, get ready.

Are you ready for some football?!

A Monday night party!

OUCH

Ladies who are new to fantasy football... it is important to keep up to date on injuries after each weekend. Injury reports are not only an indication of who you should and should not play each week, but more importantly, it keeps you posted which secondary players you should pick up. This is very important strategery that new fantasy players do not always take advantage of. Yes, I know, stratgery is not a real word, but it fits well in the previous sentence so I am gonna go with it and so are you! Some no name players who were not drafted could become starters in the blink of an eye and we need to be aware of who those guys are so we can snag them before anyone else on the waiver list does. This weeks' report:

Jevon Kearse cringed as he walked off the field in OT against the Giants. I start with him because he is a defensive player which means this is only important if you have the Eagles D. The Eagles D is looking strong enough this season so far that even with Kearse being gone for the rest of the season you should still start them every week!

TO: Broken finger, Broken ego, keep him on the bench for the next 2-4 weeks but do not drop him. Ladies, if someone in your league dropped TO because of yesterdays hand injury, laugh silently to yourself and then hurry your ass up and pick him up. TO has super healing powers and will probably be back in 2 weeks, knowing him.

Cincinnati lost center Rich Braham to a knee injury, safety Dexter Jackson to an ankle injury, and linebacker David Pollack, who was taken to the hospital for evaluation of an unspecified neck injury. None of these players will produce a "must pick up" back up for your fantasy team but they are certainly things to consider if you have Carson Palmer or the defense that is playing Cincinatti next week.

RECAP

Every Sunday is when football goes down,
This week was no diff as Peyton and Grossman went to town.

The Bears beat the Lions, their D was on fire,
Giants stole the "W" as it came down to the wire.

Falcons ran in circles giving the Bucs their second loss,
Oakland was left crying, "Where the F*&% is Randy Moss?"

Alexander is back as the Seahawks take the crown
Despite any injuries, the Bengals beat the Browns.

LT and the Chargers started off looking hot
Where as Daunte and the Dolphins certainly did not

Dallas beat the Redskins, not that I could stay awake
But hearing about TO's finger was the icing on my cake.

Packers lose again as NO stays undefeated
Eagles hope their OT loss will never be repeated.

New England pulled it off and conquered their rival Jets
Bryant's TD for San Fran made bookies lose their bets.

KC/Denver was quite the boring game
Longwell stars for the Vikings and creates his claim to fame

Pitt vs. Jacksonville should be an interesting fight
But what else do you expect for the game on Monday Night.

LOOK, IT'S BABY SURI IN AN EAGLES JERSEY!

If you are not happy that little Hayley here (from Cherry Hill, NJ) is wearing an Eagles outfit than send me pics of your kids, nephews, or siblings decked out in NFL gear and I will be happy to post them as well.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

I dont not really like college football. There always seem to be ridiculously high scoring games which could mean one of two things. Either the offense's are really good or the defense's really suck. Seeing as how I went to Indiana University, where team spirit is high but number of W's was very low, I will have to go with the latter. However, I cannot deny my readers that may love sitting on their couch on saturday afternoons rooting for their alma mater. So for all those ladies, here are some big matchups of the weekend.

Michigan (11) at Notre Dame (2)- Michigan has a 2 game losing streak against Notre Dame so they are eager to give ND their first loss of the season.

LSU (6) at Auburn (3)- Last time these teams met LSU won because Auburn's kicker, John Vaughn missed 5 field goals. (Again, the reason i dont really like college football... no skillz!)

Florida (7) at Tennesee (13)- Florida is looking to gain control of the SEC East.

UPSET OF THE WEEK

My brother-in-law texted me last night that he believes the Jets will conquer New England this weekend obviously believing that Chad Pennington is not dead yet. Now he is the kind of guy who knows everything about every player on every team in every sport, he goes undefeated in his first ever fantasy football season, BUT he gets whooped in the very first round of the playoffs. Should you trust what he says?? I will let you decide.

P.S. For my mother-in-law's sake I must report that he is single, very cute, and needs a girl who likes professional sports at least half as much as he does.

HAHA
The first grade teacher in Dallas explains to her class that she is a Cowboys fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cowboys fans too. Every hand raised except for one. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Cowboys fan," she said. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a proud Philadelphia Eagles Fan," the girl said. The teacher asks the girl, "Why are you an Eagles Fan?" "Well, my Dad and Mom are Eagles fans, so I'm a Eagles fan, too," she responded. "That's no reason," the teacher yelled loudly, "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot? What would you be then?" The little girl smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Cowboys fan like you."

HAHA

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field. Then he noticed an empty seat in the front row right on the 50-yard line. He went down and asked the man next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The man said, "Yeah, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead." The fan said, " Oh, I'm sorry. It's too bad you can't find a relative to give the ticket too so you can enjoy the game together. The man replied, "Don't worry I'll find one. But right now they are all at the funeral."

WHO IS THIS GUY???

Some dude wrote into the Philly Metro newspaper about a possible fantasy trade that he is actually considering. Ladies DO NOT TAKE NOTES!!! This moron was actually considering giving up Shaun Alexander for Chad Pennington and Frank Gore just because Shaun had a weak first week. Give the guy a chance!! If you are worried about having Shaun on your team... dont be. He was a top three draft pick for a reason, just be patient. As Napolian Dynamite would say... GOD!!!!!!

Someone you should worry about though... Nate Burleson woke up on Sunday for one measley catch. Seahawks were so impressed they went out and got Deion Branch.

DIVISION MATCH UP OF THE WEEK

Philadelphia Eagles vs. The New York Giants

Week two is a little early for a "must win" situation but there is no doubt that this is a very important game for the Giants. The Giants are starting this season with a loss against Indianapolis, a lethal match up against the Eagles, and then a tough game 3 against Shaun Alexander and the Seahawks. I dont know if Eli will be able to handle the pressure of coming back from an 0-3 season start so Tiki better work his magic like he has in the past. Last November Tiki had 21 rushes for 112 yards against the Birds and then in December he put up 195 total yards and a touchdown. Trotter better be on his game this Sunday cause the Giants need a big win!

MONOLOGUE MASCOTS

SNOOP AND BRADY IN EAGLES JERSEYS

Funny Fantasy Football Names

I am the commissioner of an all girls fantasy football league and I am also a league owner in an all guys (except me) league. I am going to share with you one of our funny league names and one of our funny team names. If you do not think these are funny, you can let me know. Also, please feel free to share your funny or creative names so that everyone can enjoy.

A funny league name---> Milf and Cookies

A funniest team name---> Pittsburgh Poopy Pants

FOOTBALL FOR DUMMIES

I promised you ladies that this website would not only be fun and games for those who already know about football but would also be educational for those women who are just learning. Every Thursday I will hold a "football for dummies" session. And each week will be a different topic. This week's topic is:

Defensive Linemen

The defensive line are the men on the team that does not have the ball that are up in the front and their main goal is to let no one get by them. There are 3 main D-line positions... nose tackle, defensive tackle, and defensive end.

• nose tackle is the guy who is dead center on the line of scrimmage (the line where the ball is when the play starts). This guy is extremely important but gets no recognition because he never gets any sacks or tackles. So basically it is all work and no play. Oh and most of the time they are large and in charge... aka fattest men alive!! (Apparently NFL and College football teams do not use nose tackles anymore, instead they mostly just have a 4 man line that consists of 2 d-tackles and 2 d-ends.)
• defensive tackles are the guys who stand in between the grunt man mentioned above and the defense end mentioned below. They are smaller in size then the nose tackle but at 290lbs I sure as hell wouldnt want to be on the bottom in that relationship.
• defensive ends are the guys (across from the offensive guards) who are on the end. Hence the name, defense END. Their job is to flail their arms around and run as fast as they can towards the QB. The key here is to basically scare the QB out of the pocket and make him throw on the run therefore screwing up his aim.

One last thing about the d-line. They do not need to be fast, but they DO need to be quick. In other words, they are not in a hurry to get down the field they just simply need to have cat like reflexes so that they change their direction depending on the play.

Class Dismissed!

INTERESTED IN OTHER SPORTS BLOGS??

If so, check out... http://www.arrowheadpride.com/

I TAKE THAT BACK

Im sorry for misinforming you but Deion Branch probably will not be playing this week for Seattle so for all you fantasy ladies, do not unleash the beast until week 3!

HAHA

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons, they had to eliminate one team from the league. So they've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, therefore saving jobs. They will be known as the TAMPACKS. Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

Minnesota Vikings released Todd Stinkston. Poor guy, i dont think they even had time to order him a uniform with his name on it.

E-A-G-L-E-S

Just so that everyone is well aware... I am a Philadelphia Eagles Fan. I love fantasy football, and i like watching all games, but I only own one jersey and I only root for one team! So this is your chance to talk some trash, bet me some cash, or for birds fans to reminisce about players like James Trash.

GO BIRDS!

NIK'S HOT PICKS OF THE WEEK

Ladies if you are planning on putting a 10 spot on red or a 50 spot on the over under check out these recommendations!

Must Pick

Cincinnati over Cleveland

St Louis over San Fran

Balt over Oakland

Indi over Houston

AND OF COURSE YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK THE EAGLES!!!!!

May want to Consider

New England over Jets

Dallas over Washington

Miami over Buffalo

DISCLAIMER: Futbolgoddess is not liable for any financial losses that may result from following these recommendations!

FASHION WEEK

NYC does it again with red carpets and famous appearances during 2006's Fashion Week. You'd expect to see Lindsey Lohan, possibly an Olsen twin and maybe even baby Shiloh but to everyone's surprise in walks... CURTIS MARTIN??? What was NY Jets late star RB thinking when he showed up with 76'ers star Chris Webber? Good thing he is injured cause otherwise im sure his teammates would have beaten him up in the locker room for that publicity stunt!

ATHELETES OR ACTORS??

They may be star QB's on the field but can they pull it off on the big screen?? Choose your favorite... Dan Marino reading straight off his cue cards in "Ace Ventura" or Brett Favre trying to crack a joke or two in "Something about Mary"

This guy is not INVINCIBLE in my playbook... dont you wish he really was in the NFL?

FANTASY FOOTBALL FLAVA OF THE WEEK

And the winner is... Mr. Deion Branch!

Ladies, if you have Deion Branch on your fantasy football team and had him warmin up your bench this past weekend it is time to brush that dirt off his shoulders and get him back on your starting line-up. Deion has been traded to Seattle and will be enjoying their number 1 WR spot. Granted it may take him a week or two to really get down and dirty so you could decide to bench him for one more week. However, if you do decide to ignore the advice of the FutbolGoddess and Branch has a stellar game, it will feel like a kick in the nuts from your mother. Now i dont know exactly how that feels but i can imagine it aint pretty!

Jerry Porter is like school on Saturdays... NO CLASS!

Jerry Porter was seen laughing and pumping his fist as Aaron Brooks (his own QB) was sacked for the 7th time last night in Oakland's Monday Night disaster. He has been at odds with his coaching staff for months now and has been demanding a trade.

The TO BO is starting to rub off on other players... word to the wise, never ever dis your QB or you will be shot.

Football Gossip

Um, was anyone else wondering why Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were at the Redskins game last night?? Is Monday Night Football the new "save my ass publicity stunt" of 2006? Who is gonna be next week? Mel Gibson?

Fantasy Tip of the Day

RIP Trent Green

Fantasy ladies, if you started Trent Green this week it is time to start thinking about a back up QB. But dont fret, he is not actually dead, so you may not want to drop him just yet. However he probably will not be revived until week 4. Kansas City has a bye week the week after next so the Chiefs will most likely sit Green for next week's game so that he can have a two week recovery period. In the meantime if you do not have a back up QB now is great time to seek a trade or to pick one up.

Welcome to the Football Monologues.

Please feel free to post questions (no matter how lame or complex they may be) or funny football stories or advice for those women out there who are experiencing their first fantasy football season. I am both the commissioner of an all girls fantasy league and a team owner in an all guys except me league. I will start posting advice, questions/answers, etc so please check back daily to make sure you are caught up on the latest.